Argonne Elementary School Principal Cami Okubo would like to make it perfectly clear to the community, and freedom fighters defending against the “War on Christmas,” that her Richmond school in the Bay Area did not suspend a 9-year-old student for wishing a teacher “Merry Christmas.”

But it is hard to say if her assurances and media reports debunking the viral internet rumor started by National Report, a self-styled satirical website, will slow the onslaught. The ham-handed story about a fake teacher, atheist Paul Hunter, at the fake “Argon” Elementary in San Francisco was tweeted, linked to and spread via social media last week to every corner of the conservative blogosphere where indignation over the slighting of Christianity rages this time of year.

Shortly after the story’s posting, and despite National Report eventually changing the name of the fictional school from Argon to Anon, angry phone calls and nasty email came pouring into the real school.  

The San Francisco Chronicle flagged one angry email, from Pastor Craig Donofrio, that ripped the principal for her “terrible work. It makes my job so much easier! MERRY CHRISTMAS! Craig.” Donofrio’s job includes preaching to his flock at Pirate Christian Radio and peddling books like “Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Change;” “Modern Fascism: Liquidating the Judeo-Christian Worldview;” and bunny slippers for women, the fuzzy kind, for $19.99.

Fortunately, the good pastor of Mount Olive Lutheran Church in Pasadena discovered his mistake before taking his rant to the airwaves. Donofrio told the Chronicle he learned a “valuable lesson” about “the complete and utter creeps” who put out that kind of misinformation.

The story, written in the style of the celebrated Onion without the humor or intelligence, included an update that purports to be the email address of the fake teacher, who, according to The Raw Story, has the name Paul Hunter. The writer said his satire was meant to expose the phony “War on Christmas” and the awful people who claim it exists.

Judging by the 248 comments on the story as of Wednesday night, it wasn’t hard to smoke them out. Hunter said he edited out all the writers who knew his story was a hoax, so what is left are mostly true believers and a few who aren’t. The mood is angry and vengeful, as befitting the war-torn holiday season featured on conservative media.

At Fox News, the debate the past few weeks has been about whether Jesus and Santa Claus were white and why anyone who thinks they weren’t is a racist, illiterate or a Muslim.  

So inspired, “Sarah” at National Report explained her response to yet another liberal outrage:

“I would tell that mother and other parents STOP SENDING YOUR KIDS TO THESE LEFTIST INDOCTRINATION CENTERS!!! Good grief. Every time I read a story like this I am amazed that parents continue to stupidly send their kids to these schools where liberal leftists can indoctrinate them with all their perverted, godless, communist philosophies. No one is more poor than my husband and I but we make certain things a priority so that we don’t have to send our kids to public school. We’ll homeschool if we have to. But my son will never be suspended for saying ‘Merry Christmas’ or kissing a girl’s hand or biting a pop-tart into the shape of a gun or sing songs for Obama or learn about all sorts of perverted sex in sex ed.”    

–Ken Broder

To Learn More:

S.F. School Bears Brunt of “Merry Christmas” Hoax (by Jill Tucker, San Francisco Chronicle)

Satirical News Site Uses S.F. Elementary School to Make Fun of Liberals, Pisses-Off Gullible Readers (by Erin Sherbert, SF Weekly)

Angry Conservatives Harass School over Satirical “War on Christmas” Story (by Travis Gettys, The Raw Story)